I hate to be writing this. My mind is yelling that I'm being dumb and a quitter and yet again I have failed and should give up. But I know that is not true.
What is true is that I am a daughter of God the Most High.
I have been saved and redeemed fully and completely by the precious blood of my Savior and ransomed by his death on a cross.
I have been blessed with not only salvation and a relationship with God, fully restored, but also a husband who is truly my best friend, and a son who daily reminds me of child like faith and wonder and my desperate need for grace and forgiveness.
I don't need to maintain a blog to be OK.
I don't need to continue a once a month book review because I said I wanted to in January.
I don't need to bear the weight of disappointment and shame that I have as I write this, thinking that it isn't even March and I have failed.
I don't need to because am free.
Paul says in Galatians 5:1 -
"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
I am free to stop blogging tonight. And then start again tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Or never again.
So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to enjoy the freedom Christ has purchased for me and marvel at my son walking around the house (yes he is officially walking!). I am going to read random books for the library book club and try to make connections with the members. I am going to worship God through my everyday battles with OCD and write whenever the Spirit leads and not when I feel guilty or as though I have to.
I am scared to death of this freedom but also so, so excited :)
Until next post,
Sola Dei Gloria
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