Pumpkin Patch 2013

Last year, Andrew and I visited Bob's Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch for the first time. We had such a great experience, and knew we wanted to go back with Owen for sure! If you've never been, Bob's is a great place whether or not you end up actually buying any pumpkins. With an assortment of tasty fall treats (pumpkin donuts, apple cider, roasted corn…), hayrides, and a field of pumpkins there is plenty to do and see without spending much or any money at all. 

Andrew and I both love the idea of making traditions as a family, and a visit to a pumpkin patch to pick out a pumpkin and spend the afternoon with family and friends is one we are excited for Owen to grow up with. While we went last year by ourselves, this year two families from our community group joined us. It was so fun to see what Owen will be like next year, as some of the kiddos are about a year older than him. The farm animals, food, and hay ride to the patch were all enjoyed and while Owen snuggled in the Ergo the entire time, he took everything in analytically in true Owen fashion. 

Here are some of the pictures from the day

 

Pumpkin Patch Preview!

Just a couple pictures from our Titus family 2013 adventure to Bob's Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch :) Look for more to come shortly!

Bittersweet Commissioning

This past Wednesday our community group sent out two families to plant another group. We prayed for them, their new group, and for God to use their group for his glory. With this commissioning, the Gospel goes forward and more people have the opportunity to be in genuine community and to see how the good news is lived out in life together. 

This is what my mind knows to be true. At the same time though, my heart is breaking a little. Once again, people who have impacted my life and have been used mightily by the Lord are moving on to another season and I feel as if a part of my heart is going with them.

To be honest, this seems to be a trend for me in community. The first community group I attended, with my then fiancé, was led by an amazing couple and although at first I was incredibly intimidated by the leader's wife, I quickly grew to absolutely adore her. She was only a few years older than me, but decades ahead of me in her love of the Lord and her relationship with Jesus. She counseled me through the latter part of my engagement, and was the first Mama at my church to take me under her wing. I babysat her daughter once a week and not only did that give me the opportunity to learn more about children and motherhood, but it also gave me time to talk with this woman before/after she went out and did her errands (now being a mama myself, I understand how incredible running simple errands alone actually is...). 

She spoke bluntly, questioned deeply, and loved passionately. The woman I first thought of as intense and, to be honest, was scared wouldn't like me, became a dear sister. And then, their family moved. In fact, it was the day I took my pregnancy test with Owen that they left Seattle. My heart ached and I felt as though I had lost a dear friend. I miss her like crazy.

Around the same time a friend from middle school who had invited me to come to Mars Hill got married and switched to another church location. She had walked with me through so much, and had coached me in leadership, my life, and my marriage. She was such a confidant to me, and then was gone. Still a part of my life, but in such a different way as the Lord has moved our paths farther from each other. 

Time after time over the course of these last couple years I feel as though parts of my heart are being taken by women who mean the world to me. My roommate and close sister moved across the state, my midweek Bible study leader moved across the country, and the woman who held my hand as I walked through the darkest hours of suicidal postpartum depression also moved the the other side of the country. 

I am so grateful to remember how God has placed these women in my life, and yet still hurting from the changes in life which draw us away. As I was talking to the Lord tonight about how it wasn't fair that he seemingly rip these relationships apart from me, I was gently reminded that Jesus is my friend and very near help. I know it sounds cliche, but it was oh so needed in my heart at that moment. 

With that reminder also came the conviction that all too often, I rely on these godly women more than I rely on God. Funny, I always pray that God would take idols out of my heart and mind and grow me to only be able to rely on him, but it tends to take me a while to realize that he does that through everyday means - like jobs moving locations, and marriages, and community group replications. 

So, with all of these rambles, I guess the praise and the prayer is that God reminded me again tonight how sinful I really am. That he is so good, and so holy, and so deeply wants me to run to him first and I so often don't. I forget that he is the source of wisdom, and instead go first to the women around me. I get scared that I won't be able to 'hear' from God and therefore ask these dear women for their opinions before spending time at the feet of Jesus. 

Yes, my heart is hurting tonight. I want so badly to be in community with these women again. Honestly, even writing this makes me miss them all even more. But, in a bittersweet way, God is giving me such a precious opportunity to lean into him for everything. For friendship, for counsel, for peace. 

My prayer is that the Lord would continue to sweetly remind me that he is there no matter what, and I can trust his sovereign giving and taking of friendships throughout the seasons my life. I deeply desire to run to him first, before my husband, and before these women. Sometimes the process of prayer being answered is difficult, but I am so grateful not only for the time that Jesus has given me in community with these ladies, but also for the knowledge that one day I will worship our Savior eternally with them beside me :) 

Facebook Free :)

So I deleted my account. It feels wonderful.

I guess I needed to actually realize that what I was 'gaining' from Facebook was actually taking away and that my heart was not being uplifted by it, but drawn more into my self and definitely away from Jesus.

That being said, I am so excited to start writing more, you know, with all of that spare time I now have :)

If you notice near the top of the blog, there are a few new tabs - Book Reviews, Family Updates, Food Finds, Join Me in Prayer, Making a Home and Walking in the Word. I will be labeling all of my posts from now on and putting them into these categories, so that they will be easier to read through and search for. My current goal is to write once a week, and to try and post to each category once a month. Here is a little more detail about each of the topics:

Book Reviews - I absolutely love to read, and when I find books that I can't put down, I love to share them. So this is where I will do that! Not only am I hoping that this will push me to read more consistently (I tend to read in spurts and then have a week or two... or three... where I barely read at all), but I would love to share about the ones that truly are worth reading (at least in my opinion). As with all of the posts, feel free to comment on the reviews, I would love to know if anyone else has read the books and what thoughts are about them.

Family Updates - Kind of self explanatory, but this is where I will post pictures of my growing little man, updates on Andrew and myself and our lives in the U-District. We are taking Owen to his first pumpkin patch this coming weekend, so look for an update sometime next week! 

Food Finds - I will be sharing recipes, bargain hunting finds, and different bulk-buying tips here. I will also be uploading tips and guides for meal planning (both weekly and monthly) and various sales that are too good not to share. Make sure to sign up for this blog through your email to get all of the updates!

Join Me in Prayer - In this, I will be posting what the Lord has put on my heart especially in regards to the U-District, as well as how God has answered prayers and continued prayer requests. Feel free to post prayer requests as well (or email me) and we can be on our knees together for His will to be done.

Making a Home - I am nervous and excited for this one. I don't feel as though I am that creative, and will be praying continuously that this section doesn't become a place to boast or bemoan in my homemaking. I adore making the house that my husband, son and I live in into a home, so this will be the place I will post about DIY projects, holiday traditions, and other things that are homemaker-y in subject. As with the Food Finds section, when I have redone something I have found online, I will make sure to post the original link for you all as well. 

Walking in the Word - I can't wait for this section. As a Christian, I have always struggled with finding the Bible dry and dull, especially the Old Testament and particularly the "law" books. Recently though, the Lord has answered my prayers that the Bible would indeed be my daily bread. In this section, I will be writing about what I am reading in the Word, and mainly the stream of consciousness reflections I have on what I've been reading. I am no theologian or seminary student, but am a lover of Jesus and do enjoy Greek word studies... so this should be fun :)

Until next post,
Sola Dei Gloria 

Quitting Facebook (?)

So I'm considering deleting my Facebook account. Two things up front. One is, I know you can't technically ever delete your account (so my younger friends... beware that everything, everything you post and upload is saved forever, even when you 'delete' it) and two is that it's crazy that quitting Facebook is even something 'important' enough to write about. But yet, here I am writing.

I guess the issue for me is that Facebook feeds into so many parts of my heart that are incredibly terrible, sinful, and gross. It's not merely a place to look at cute pictures of babies and weddings, but for me, it's a place to pass judgement. It feeds any hint of discontentment with my life. I see other peoples' vacations, houses, weddings, babies, and for some reason, the immense blessings that God has given me grow dim. I notice when a new mom looks thinner than I do and become even more dissatisfied with my body, I notice when a friend changes her last name or goes from 'in a relationship' to 'engaged' and my mind starts piecing together the story that may or may not be true.

But, even bigger than me using Facebook to quench my desire to gossip and compare myself to those "around me" (although, let's face it, most of our friends on Facebook are only friends on Facebook), is my need to be connected. Actually, let me put quotes around that word - "connected". I completely love the fact that Facebook can connect friends who are worlds away, I have a dear friend in Kenya who I adore following, and others across the country and world and Facebook does help me stay in contact with them. But, at the end of the day, I feel like I'm peering into a window of their house rather than sitting next to them at dinner. Does that make any sense?

I want to actually know people. I want to actually and genuinely be known.  I want to sit and have tea with a friend, ask about her kids/husband/job/school and see her facial expressions, hear her intonation and feel her heart. I want to see my family and give them hugs, not merely 'like' their photos.

Please don't get me wrong, I don't think any of this is innately bad or morally wrong. There are many people who can use Facebook and use it well. I don't think I am one of them though. It sucks. I want to say that I can see things without judging or comparing or envying. And I want to not log onto Facebook only because I am fearful that I have missed out on something. That one of my friends who I thought I was close to announced her pregnancy and I never got the call. That someone got engaged who I thought I was close to, but I would have only known through Facebook. Honestly, I am scared that I will miss out, and I know I probably will.

But that will be okay. It really, really will.

So, if I do delete my account, the Facebook universe will have less pictures of a growing Owen, less rants about nap times come and gone, and less silly videos of kids falling asleep while eating. But, you know what? Owen will have more Mama time. Andrew will have more face-to-face time with his wife. And I will have a great and painful opportunity to run to the Lord when I am fearful of missing out and have him comfort me with the knowledge that his sweet salvation is all I really need to know. That if I "miss out" on some big news, I haven't really missed the biggest news. That my Savior came humbly and lived perfectly and died brutally and rose victoriously to redeem me.

Me. Who spends hours fretting about how to word a post regarding quitting Facebook or not. Who judges my sisters and brothers. Who wants things that are not mine, and is bogged down by trivial matters when there is so, so much more than what's in front of me on the screen. Me. Jesus redeemed me.

And I am ridiculously grateful. :)

I love writing though, and want to keep this blog up and going, and actually write a whole lot more. I feel drawn to writing about my OCD, my faith, and how being a wife and a mama and a homemaker describe but don't define me. I would love to write about why I chose to use cloth diapers, the new red lentil curry soup I made, why I buy in bulk, and how to find the best deals at Goodwill (hint: on Monday's certain tag colors are $1.29!). I can't wait to blog about my heart for India, my prayer for the U-District, and what God is teaching me through Deuteronomy and Matthew.

Oh, and of course, pictures and stories about the little one who is growing up to be a little man, buddy O by name.

Check back soon, I'm excited for this new season!